"We are going to focus on LIFE for Katya. I believe, one day, she will amaze the world."

Dr. Ben Carson on Katya Dueck

Thursday, July 14, 2016

New Territory

Our hearts have long wondered how Katya's birth mom was doing, and yearned to know more about her family in general. We kept waiting for the right time to pursue a search for her, as well as the right person to handle the search.

Recently, things all fell into place, and we knew we had the right time and the right person. A search ensued, and Birth Mom was located. Imagine our surprise and joy to hear back from the searcher that she was thrilled to know Katya was loved and doing well! And we were further surprised to learn that she had given her phone number and address to the searcher to pass on to us!

Well, after several fruitless attempts to reach her, this past Saturday every thing fell into place and Kayta's birth Mom and I got to hear each other's voices for the first time! We had an interpreter who had me on Skype with her, and she put her phone call on 'speaker' so that we could hear each other even though we didn't understand much of each other's languages! It was a short phone call but very meaningful to me, and especially meaningful to hear directly from birth mom that she wants additional photos, and welcomes further contact. She has a pleasant voice, and I imagine that Katya's voice sounds similar. She wants to send some photos to the searcher to scan in and send to us, and we are waiting with so much excitement for those!

Imagine what a shock it was to hear yesterday from the searcher that birth mom had called him after our phone call, scared  that we might be trying to figure out how to take her other child, a half-sib to Katya! We were so sad that we had brought fear and terror when we only meant to bring peace and friendship! My hat is off to this brave woman for still agreeing to contact so that she could know more about her bio daughter, while simultaneously being afraid we might "try to take" her other child. The searcher said she is so excited to be learning to know about Katya, and yet so afraid.

First of all, there is a legal process that needs to happen for a child to be available for adoption, and secondly it would be evil--even sinful in my thinking--to try to wrest a child from their family just because you wanted to adopt again! And last but not least, we are not planning to adopt again, and were we to be interested in doing so, we would certainly be looking for a child who was without parents to care for him or her! We asked the searcher to explain these things to bio Mom and assure her we want only to have contact for friendship's sake, because we think that it is best for Katya to know as much about her roots as she desires to know as she gets older, and also because if we were the biological family we would want to know our child was safe and loved!

The searcher told us that she is very excited to be able to see photos and hear about Katya and so he thinks after he reassures her she will be calmer and hopefully OK. We are hopeful that will prove to be the case. The more we learn about her, the more we long to know her better.

This is uncharted territory for both of us, so hopefully we will all get it figured out and have a long and happy relationship and friendship. That is our heart's longing! After all, it's clear we share some thing very important in common--a love for this special little gal, and our other kids!



Please Note that we will only share information with Katya as we think she is ready to handle it! While we want her to have access to this information, it needs to be done with discretion and wisdom and as the timing is right, so no, please don't come up and start talking to her about it, or to us in front of her, please! And just to be clear, we respect Katya's birth family and their privacy too.

2 comments:

Milena said...

I am excited for you! Such a gift to know a little more about Katya's roots, and to be able to let her birth mom know how loved Katya is and how well she is doing!

Sandie Flannery said...

This is just wonderful news!