"We are going to focus on LIFE for Katya. I believe, one day, she will amaze the world."

Dr. Ben Carson on Katya Dueck

Thursday, July 14, 2016

New Territory

Our hearts have long wondered how Katya's birth mom was doing, and yearned to know more about her family in general. We kept waiting for the right time to pursue a search for her, as well as the right person to handle the search.

Recently, things all fell into place, and we knew we had the right time and the right person. A search ensued, and Birth Mom was located. Imagine our surprise and joy to hear back from the searcher that she was thrilled to know Katya was loved and doing well! And we were further surprised to learn that she had given her phone number and address to the searcher to pass on to us!

Well, after several fruitless attempts to reach her, this past Saturday every thing fell into place and Kayta's birth Mom and I got to hear each other's voices for the first time! We had an interpreter who had me on Skype with her, and she put her phone call on 'speaker' so that we could hear each other even though we didn't understand much of each other's languages! It was a short phone call but very meaningful to me, and especially meaningful to hear directly from birth mom that she wants additional photos, and welcomes further contact. She has a pleasant voice, and I imagine that Katya's voice sounds similar. She wants to send some photos to the searcher to scan in and send to us, and we are waiting with so much excitement for those!

Imagine what a shock it was to hear yesterday from the searcher that birth mom had called him after our phone call, scared  that we might be trying to figure out how to take her other child, a half-sib to Katya! We were so sad that we had brought fear and terror when we only meant to bring peace and friendship! My hat is off to this brave woman for still agreeing to contact so that she could know more about her bio daughter, while simultaneously being afraid we might "try to take" her other child. The searcher said she is so excited to be learning to know about Katya, and yet so afraid.

First of all, there is a legal process that needs to happen for a child to be available for adoption, and secondly it would be evil--even sinful in my thinking--to try to wrest a child from their family just because you wanted to adopt again! And last but not least, we are not planning to adopt again, and were we to be interested in doing so, we would certainly be looking for a child who was without parents to care for him or her! We asked the searcher to explain these things to bio Mom and assure her we want only to have contact for friendship's sake, because we think that it is best for Katya to know as much about her roots as she desires to know as she gets older, and also because if we were the biological family we would want to know our child was safe and loved!

The searcher told us that she is very excited to be able to see photos and hear about Katya and so he thinks after he reassures her she will be calmer and hopefully OK. We are hopeful that will prove to be the case. The more we learn about her, the more we long to know her better.

This is uncharted territory for both of us, so hopefully we will all get it figured out and have a long and happy relationship and friendship. That is our heart's longing! After all, it's clear we share some thing very important in common--a love for this special little gal, and our other kids!



Please Note that we will only share information with Katya as we think she is ready to handle it! While we want her to have access to this information, it needs to be done with discretion and wisdom and as the timing is right, so no, please don't come up and start talking to her about it, or to us in front of her, please! And just to be clear, we respect Katya's birth family and their privacy too.

Saturday, July 9, 2016

A Good Kick

On June 20th, I wrote the following.

So as I posted earlier today, the air quality here is terrible and Chad's asthma and Charity's allergies were just going nuts. So we decided to pack up and head out to cleaner air in the Wheeling area per the air quality map.

Sure enough--the closer we got to Wheeling, the better they both felt! So after kicking around walking and walking in the mall and mainly browsing (although we did find a couple clothing items on clearance that we were happy to find!) we were tired and hungry and wanted something nourishing to eat since our PB and J sandwiches etc. at lunch time had long worn off. So Charity found this little local cuisine place in the historic Centre Market that was called The Soup Shack and we set off to find it. We were charmed when we walked in and placed our orders, and they were soon brought to the table.

We had just started to tuck into our yummy soups when Kristina says, "There's a rat!" with a slight edge of amusement and nervousness. Everyone's heads were swiveling as we tried to locate what she had seen, and Chad suddenly exclaimed--"There's a BIG mouse!" I by that point located it scuttling up the edge of the hall, and exclaimed, "That is a BIG rat!"

Charity stood up at this point to try to see over our heads and caught a glimpse of Mr Rat as he decided to dodge into one of the shops that sold fabrics! Chad ran to tell the Soup Shack employee and he came and poked around with another person to see if they could find the rat. They couldn't but we all assured them that we definitely had seen this critter and he was a HUGE rat! Well, they went back to their stations and we went back to eating soup while laughing over what an unusual experience that was!

Lo and behold, just a few minutes later, Chad suddenly whooped, "There it is again!" and sure enough! We saw it again! He went calling for the young man working at the Soup Shack, and he came running and this time saw Rattie as well! Mr Rattie did NOT like the attention and commotion and came running out of the fabric booth and down the hall with the employees in hot pursuit. We sat down to eat again, laughing even harder because we could hear the commotion at the other end of the building! People were laughing, yelling and exclaiming and we heard someone yell, "Get him OUT the door!" Well, after a bit every thing died down and the young Soup Shack employee came back shuddering, shaking out his shirt which was suddenly dotted with spots of perspiration and waving his hands in a mix of stress and excitement. "That rat RAN OVER MY FOOT and I had to KICK him out the door!" and he disappeared out the door himself to the side walk where we could see him still pacing and practically quivering with nerves.

A few minutes later he came back in, tried to work a few minutes and then gave up, coming to talk to us again. "There's two things in life that scare me!" he proclaimed earnestly. "God Almighty is one, and RATS are the other! And that rat ran over my foot and I was afraid he was going to climb up my leg! I try not to smoke at work, but I'm still so shook up I have to go smoke!" and out the door he disappeared again.

Well, I have to tell you, we are such country bumpkins and so easily amused that we all derived considerable amusement out of the event, and Chad especially was totally delighted that he had seen a rat "in his natural element" so to speak! We couldn't wait to get home to tell Paul and he got a good chuckle out of it as well. All in all, a great day! As Chad said, "Everyone got a good kick out of it, especially the rat!"