"We are going to focus on LIFE for Katya. I believe, one day, she will amaze the world."

Dr. Ben Carson on Katya Dueck

Friday, January 11, 2013

Thankful . . . .

 . . . that Katya's art teacher always has a huge sunny smile, and a cheeful word for me when she is on duty to check parents out.

 . . . her attitude towards Katya rocks.

 . . . either she's faking it, or else she really sees Katya's improvements and potential just about like I do. (That can be a bit of a rare thing to find.)

Yes, I'm trying to focus on what I'm thankful for. Because right now I don't feel sunny and bright. I feel weary and hung down again with the enormity of the challenges Katya faces, and what our family is going through as we seek to meet her needs.

I think if we didn't love her so much, it wouldn't hurt so much to see her struggle. I so long to have a deeper peek into her heart and life. I WANT TO HEAR HER VOICE. The few times she has gotten a short word out, her voice is lovely . . . like the time she said "hey". She re-duplicated it at school twice after that, but has not been able to do so since. People suspect Apraxia. I do too.

I have not dreamed for awhile now that she begins speaking. Maybe my hope is dying. I don't know. I just know, right now, today, I'm crying again. I want so much for my sweet daughter to be able to communicate meaningfully, and it's killing me that she can't.

It stinks. Totally. 100%.

And no, I'm not super-Mom. I'm not some paragon of godly virtue who can do all this effortlessly and painlessly.


Candace said...

What is impossible with man is possible with God. Matt. 18:27

Milena said...

I don't know what to say other than that I wish to give you a big hug.

I have only read a little bit about apraxia at some other blog, but I guess it not only affects a person's ability to talk but also this persons ability to read and write? I am deeply sorry for Katya too. It must be tremendously frustrating for her - as well as for you, trying to help her and getting worn out while doing so. I really wish that I had the possibility to help you!

jabreman said...

Hope Ann- I, for one, don't think you are a super mom because you have any super powers. I think you are a super mom because you are honest, have unbelievable love for your family and are true. I believe that can be said for every member of your family and for your family as a whole. Prayers of strength your way...Jane in OR