Tonight, I sit and stare at my computer screen. I feel little inspiration to write. The journey thus far has left me a bit drained . . . weary . . . worn . . . and wondering . . . curious . . . .cautious . . . . a little sadder and a little wiser . . . reaching out to God and asking again and again for His guidance . . . wondering how He will open doors . . . and what lies yet ahead of us? What additional painful experiences will we be going through before Katya is finally home safely with us? What amazing things will we see God do?
I don't know . . . . and it the NOT KNOWING that is so hard at times. I don't know about you, but I LIKE to know things. Especially things that affect me so deeply and personally as this journey to my daughter has been.
For around two years, I sat and stared many nights at dear Katya's face on my computer screen, and wept and prayed. I did not understand why God was so clearly calling me to her--and yet Paul didn't see it or get it at that point. I only knew I was to wait . . . to not run ahead of God . ..and to hold Katya with an open hand. I still don't entirely understand all of what that was about . . . but I have little glimpses now and then.
I trust in time more of it will be made plain to us . . . and maybe why the journey to Katya has been so hard. . . some of that has been revealed to us . . . and it's not pretty. I can not say more than that. But Paul and I both earnestly covet your prayers for our spiritual and emotional protection and well-being. We need contnued prayers for a hedge of protection from God to be placed around our family. Thank you.